Love Defined

"...by the use of the word 'will' I have attempted to transcend the distinction between desire and action. Desire is not necessarily translated into action. Will is desire of sufficient intensity that it is translated into action...Everyone in our culture desires to some extent to be loving, yet many are not in fact loving. I therefore conclude that the desire to love is not itself love. Love is as love does. Love is an act of will." -- M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Travelled

"That man is perfect in faith who can come to God in the utter dearth of his feelings and desires, without a glow or an aspiration, with the weight of low thoughts, failures, neglects, and wandering forgetfulness, and say to Him, 'Thou art my refuge". -- George MacDonald

Pics from my Last Good Day on the Trail

These are from the Chandler Slough and Yates Marsh areas, a few days before the storm.

This part of the trail was open range. Herds if cattle moving past my tent all night

This was new; had to climb several of these, with pack, to cross fences

This tree not only looks interesting, but makes a great chair

A surprisingly difficult to cross patch of prairie. The grass is soft and spongey

The wise old water oak, master of the forest

Close-up of Old Man Oak

Look closely, and you'll see the Skunk Ape and his son under the trees

The End

Apologies for the delay. I've been ruminating on things, and trying to come up with the right words. And telling everyone makes it real.

The good news is that I don't need surgery right now. But, according to the doctor, my meniscus looks like it's been chewed up. It's been softened and, therefore, spreads under the pressure from walking on it with all the weight, and so the bones are grinding against each other. There is significant wear on the bone surfaces and 6 or 7 spurs. Consequences of continung: continued serious degeneration, likely tears in the meniscus and possibly in the ligament. Doctor's recommendation: get a bicycle.

So, unfortunately, that's it. Disappointing, to put it mildly; but I knew before I set out that this was a possibility. It was always a long shot, trying to complete this with all my ailments and disabilities. I'm very sorry to let everyone down, and thank you all sincerely for your support and encouragement.

Still Waiting

Saw the doctor. No definitive answer yet: have to go for an MRI this afternoon.

Prost!

Me with one of my oldest friends. And Brian, whom I've known since I was 14 in Belgium.

"The true value of a human being is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which he has attained liberation from the self." -- Albert Einstein

On Friendship

"Among those who have written on friendship it has been much discussed whether the best friend is he who loves most or he who bestows the greatest benefits.

Much may be said on both sides; for, on the one hand, there is an infinite solace in the sincere affection of even the most humble friend, however unable he may be to render any material service; and, on the other hand, in the perplexities and misfortunes of life, which come to all, it is an unspeakable advantage to have one with a sound judgement and a helpful hand, who will interest himself in our affairs as if they were his own, because he is our friend. Yet I venture that neither of these is the pearl of friendship; there is something in it more valuable than either.

...If your friendship has been of a high order, the soul of it is simply the worth of him you are allowed to call your friend. He is genuine to the core; you know him through and through, and nowhere is there any twist or doubleness or guile. It may be a false and disappointing world, but you have known at least one heart that has never deceived you; and, amidst much that may have happened to lower your estimate of mankind, the image of your friend has enabled you always to believe in human nature. Surely this is the incomparable gain of friendship--fellowship with a simple, pure, and lofty soul." -- James Stalker, Imago Christi

I have, in recent times, had 'friends' whose idea of friendship was to tell me what they thought was best for me to hear, rather than the truth, and to pretend greater affection and higher regard for me than they actually bore, in order to spare my feelings. Such friendship I don't need: I much prefer Reverend Stalker's ideas on the matter, and such is the kind of friend I strive to be.

Update

Well, the tent is going to have to be replaced. Looks like the force of the wind caused it to come apart at dozens of little stress points, probably where there had previously been rub marks from stones or stretched fabric or whatever. Anyway, a tent with holes all over it is pretty useless.

Feeling better--looks like the antibiotics are working and it was, as I suspected, just a run-of-the-mill bug.

Waiting now for a return call from the doctor's office. So you all know exactly what's going on, my bad knee has been increasingly grinding, clicking, popping, and sometimes collapsing briefly. The pain I can deal with; but I think it's only prudent at this point to consult a physician about long-term consequences.

Would appreciate your prayers that everything turns out well.

Update to the update: appointment Tuesday morning. I'll let you know.

Sturm und Drang

The storm had been threatening all day, but I thought I'd dodged the bullet when I reached my destination and set up camp before it broke. Not.

For most of the night, I was fine; my tent kept me dry and I got some sleep despite being repeatedly awakened by howling winds, thunder, and once by what I'm pretty sure was a tornado, but which I only heard and never saw. But then, around 3 AM (why do these things always happen at 3AM?), the wind REALLY started to blow and the rain to fall, and the tent began leaking around the zipper. So I moved some things to the other side, used my poncho and some other water-resistant items to keep the water at bay, and lay back down to try and sleep. Until the wind began to blow so hard that the tent poles bowed and the rain was pushed through the fabric of the tent wall.

At this point I decided that I ought to use some precious battery power and check the weather on my phone. Big line of red, all the warnings that go with it, but at the end, "extreme wind warning". Well that doesn't sound good. So I put into action my emergency plan: put on pants so I have somewhere to keep wallet and phone, the two items I MUST preserve, and boots, in case I have to walk out. But I'd waited too late. The tent stakes on the windward side came up, one at a time. I grabbed my walking stick and tried to prop that side of the tent up. A pretty comical sight, if anyone had been there to see it; me with my pants halfway up, fighting 60+ mph winds with a hiking staff, and the tent wrapped around me. Couldn't even get out of it at that point, it was flapping around so violently. "Lord, I could kinda use a break here." And when it came, I dropped the pole, pulled up my britches, put on my shoes, and exited the wet, soggy, tangled mass that had been my gear.

So now what? Status--I'm f----d. Course of action--have to get some help. Well, it just so happened that my new friend Charlie, who I met in Key West, was back in Florida. We'd been trying to arrange a meetup, but couldn't get our schedules to mesh. He'd said he'd be available between the 17th and the 20th. And he'd also said, "If I'm in Florida and you find yourself in trouble, call me, and I'll come get you." Well, Charlie is a man of his word. I left a voicemail for him at 4:38 AM, and by 8 o'clock he'd driven from the other side of the state and I was warm in his van, with dry clothes, clean water, and something to eat.

But that's not all. I'd started to feel sick while I was packing up my wet things and waiting for my ride. I thought it was probably just fatigue or dehydration or whatever. Happens a lot out there, to be honest. But it kept getting worse, and by the time we reached Orlando, Charlie said I'd gone completely pale despite all the sun coloring from two months outdoors. I'd promised to buy him lunch in gratitude for the rescue, but I left mine in the parking lot, and it soon became apparent that I was sick in earnest. So, next stop: the hospital. Probably what happened is that I got careless when filtering swamp water for drinking and cooking the night before, because I'd been in a hurry to beat the storm, and let some dirty water spill on the canteen mouth or something. Anyway, they treated me for dehydration, gave me a medley of drugs, and sent off some lab work, because it's probably just a routine viral infection, but with swampwater you never know.

So they sent me on my way with a handful of prescriptions and instructions to call for the lab results in a few days. My lovely friend Jessica picked me up from the hospital, took me to get my drugs and lot of gatorade, and brought me to her house, where I currently sit with a cup of coffee and a good book, two of the things I'd been missing sorely out on the road.

Plan of action: rest, recuperate, and regroup. Equipment check, maintenance, and possible replacement. And see an orthopaedist about this knee. Then, hopefully, back on the road in a couple of weeks.

The morals of the story: number one, the Lord is looking out for me, and works in mysterious ways. If it hadn't been for the storm, I'd have ignored the first symptoms of illness and gone on, and I'd have been hours into a very remote and inaccessible trail by the time I'd realized how sick I was. Then I'd have been FUBARed. Number two, thanks for true friends like Charlie and Jessica, who are there when I need them.


"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall , the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up ." -- Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

"A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." -- Proverbs 17:17

"I would have lost heart, unless I believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait upon the Lord, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, upon the Lord." -- Psalm 27:13-14

Progress Report

I realize that my postings have been a bit sparse lately, so here's a general update on how things are going.

Next Monday will mark two months on the road, and I've completed five distinct sections of the trail: the Keys (112 miles), Homestead/Miami area roadwalk (73 miles), Everglades (38 miles), Seminole Reservation and rural canal walk (50 miles), and Lake Okeechobee (45 miles), a total of 318 miles not counting walking out of the way to find food, lodging, resupply, etc. The Keys were by far the most enjoyable, and the Everglades the hardest 38 miles I've ever walked (or 'waded' might be more accurate). Seminole was interesting, but the dike- and road-walks leading up to and around Lake Okeechobee have been hot, dull, tedious, and boring. Farm country is monotonous and plagued with insects, and one finds fewer pleasant and interesting people.

I've been slowly increasing my pace and daily mileage as my fitness improves, from 3-5 miles per day in the very beginning to 10-15 now. But I am still having to take more and longer rests than a normal, fit hiker with no disabilities. I bow to the necessity, but I'm finding it increasingly frustrating as it's impeding my progress and depleting my resources. I'm also finding that there may be a very real practical limit to the number of miles per day I can put on my severely damaged knee; if recent experience holds, then somewhere well short of 15. (For those who don't know already, my right knee was destroyed some years back in an accident: basically pushed all the way backwards, hyperextended, twisted, and all the ligaments torn loose. I can only walk because one ligament was surgically reconstructed.) Anyway, it's been acting very reluctant to extend my mileage much beyond 10 per day, and in the long run that may necessitate some rethinking of my long-term plans. I'm going to see if I can get an orthopaedist to look at it when I take my extended break in Orlando. Also, the solar charger for my cpap machine turns out not to be very effective. I can walk all day in full sun with it tied to my pack, and get about 4 or 5 hours of battery life; and if I'm in a forest, virtually none. I wore it all day one day in the Everglades, and it ran for 30 seconds. Luckily, I've lost enough weight that I can get a little bit of sleep without the machine, so I can go a few days on limited sleep. But I have to have some real rest eventually, so that means stopping in a lot more hotels than I'd like, as the battery takes 8 hours or so to charge fully even on an electrical outlet.

I've met a lot of good and interesting people, some of whom may turn out to be actual friends in the long run. But on the trail I've been almost totally alone. Based on others' accounts of their long-distance hikes, I kind of expected to be meeting up fairly regularly with other hikers, and maybe even falling in with a group. But other than a very few I crossed paths with in the Keys, and 3 or 4 in the Everglades, all going the opposite direction, it's been like I'm the only person on the trail. Lately I've been talking to birds, gators, cows, and horses, and yesterday to a tank. No, not a water tank, an Army tank. In a town park. Long story.

But, we endeavour to persevere, yes? Nothing is ever interesting and exciting from beginning to end, nor easy for that matter. The times of boredom, difficulty, and disillusionment come with any endeavor, whether it be a hike, a job, or a marriage, and we must simply get through them. That's life.

From tomorrow I'll be entering another long stretch of wilderness, with no or very limited access to electricity to recharge my phone. So don't expect any updates for probably a couple of weeks, but don't worry--I probably haven't fallen into a pit or been eaten by alligators. Next time you hear from me will most likely be from Orlando.

Lake Okeechobee

Finished walking around Lake Okeechobee today. I wanted to post a nice picture of the lake for you, but it seems all you can see from this side is marsh.

I walked two miles out of my way to get this one, having been informed that this location afforded the best view of the lake. Disappointing, but there it is.

Incidentally, as of today I've walked over 300 miles.

Next I'll be working my way up the Kissimmee river toward Orlando.

Wayfaring Stranger

I was walking down this hot, dusty road the other day, listening to bluegrass and old-time music on my ipod to help the miles pass, when I came upon this scene--and it struck me that it could have been straight out of another age.

Walk On