Sweet Carolina and I have decided to part ways. This is something we both recognized needed to happen, and we parted well, although I will not say without grief or pain. We parted better than I have ever known a couple to do so, with many tender words, with holding each other and tears, with one last beautiful time of affection and intimacy.
There is significant sorrow and sadness for me--after all, she is the only woman who has ever truly given me her love. I love her deeply and miss her terribly, but I know that this is the way it has to be, and so I send her on her way in life with all the blessings, love, and best wishes I can give her. And with this:
It is Over
I wasn't able to say you a proper goodbye
Standing in the parking lot
amidst the bustle of the Christmas shoppers
trying to restrain my tears
So here are the things I was feeling
the things I should have said
You are the only true love affair I've ever had
I've been in love before
and women have loved me
but never mutually, and simultaneously
I wrote once, on a wish list, on a darkened street,
in a town where my heart had been broken
which asked, "What is the one thing you would ask for before you die?"
My reply, "To love someone, and to be loved by her, at the same time."
And you have made that wish come true
I never imagined it would be with someone so beautiful
so giving
so generous with herself and her love
so open with her heart and her soul
so completely vulnerable
I never imagined that someone could love me so completely
accept me so unconditionally
heal me so profoundly
I never imagined it would be with someone so silly
so messy
so fun
so vibrant
I will miss your silly socks and your llama pajamas
After leaving Ontario, we went to Chicago to pick up the start of Route 66. The highlight of Chicago was the Art Institute. And the highlight of the Art Institute, for me, was the superb mediaeval exhibit, especially the best collection of arms and armour I've ever seen.
This large suit of armor spoke to me in a strange and profound way. Standing in front of it, it felt like it was exactly my size; like I should just step into it and walk out to the battlefield.