A Message from Beyond the Grave

I thought I had lost this. Adina wrote it to me, several years ago. I've been wishing I could recover it since she passed, not remembering that I'd posted it here.

"You know, when I was pregnant I always prayed that I could show them the magic in the world that you showed me. No one in the world has hope anymore. They criticize people who hope for anything better. But you've always hoped.
You've been so important in my life.. I know you don't think I listen to you, but I do. I remember everything you've told me. Like when mom left us at the restaurant and we walked home holding hands. Or when you told me every time you sleep with someone you lose a piece of your soul. I remember the important stuff you say. Or when you stop to move a kitty out of the road.
I always try to help people because I always saw you doing it. I think about it all the time. Just yesterday I thought about how you bought a little girl a teddy bear on valentine's day because her mom couldn't afford it, when we were in line behind them getting candy.
I wouldn't know how to be kind without you. But you made a difference. You made me, you passed on how you care. All I hope is that the girls love me the way I love you."

Here's what it really is, Sweetie. Here's what I was showing you, what I was teaching you. Here's who I was showing you. As you know now, better than I do now, because you are with Him.

"Love, to be real, must hurt."

"Jesus, in order to give us the proof of His love, died on the cross.

  A mother, in order to give birth to her baby, has to suffer.

  If you really love one another, you will not be able to avoid making sacrifices."

-- Mother Theresa

Free Will and the Will of God

One often hears people wondering about whether all is predestined and if so, how our choices matter; or, if there is no destiny, and everything lies in our choice, to "make our own destiny". And then, how does the Plan of God fit into all this?

In fact, both are true--both free will and predestination. God does have a plan for each of us. Yet, every decision each of us makes matters. And affects not only ourselves, but those in our lives, which in turn affects those in their lives, with the quantum ripples resonating throughout the history of the universe.

So how can this be? Does God have a perfect plan, and then backup plans for if we make the wrong choice? Maybe. Certainly it wasn't his desire for us to suffer all the evil that we do--he wishes us only good. But it doesn't really matter, because he knew every choice each of us was going to make before he ever spoke the Big Bang into being. So, in a way, that is the only plan--that which actually happens. And so, it is his perfect plan, because in the end, it will all work out. He created us knowing all the evil we would do, and chose to create us anyway, because apparently he thought it would still be worth it. His perfect plan was for us to have free will, to choose our own way.

Think of God as a weaver, and the history of the universe as a great tapestry. Each choice made by every creature with free will--every man, woman, child, angel, power, principality, throne, dominion, and whatever other creatures there are in the universe, is a thread. And he takes those threads and weaves them into the tapestry of his plan, in a way that only he can see right now, because only he has the perspective. Have you ever seen the back of a tapestry, embroidery, or needlepoint? It's a big mess. That's what we see right now--just the cross-stitches and knots. And furthermore, we can only see our little portion of it, and that immediately adjacent. But he beholds the whole, from start to finish, and says, "It is good." And one day, he will show it to us, and we will agree, "It is good."

I didn't keep you 

to say goodbye

I held you near

and waited to see

where our love would go

and if it would grow

until I could say to you

You are the One

I choose You

Only

Always

Above all

For until I can say these things

honestly

truly

unreservedly

wholeheartedly

I cannot say

I will

I do

These are sacred and solemn vows

Taken before the King

and Creator of the Universe

I dare not make them lightly

frivolously

dishonestly

or in bad faith

to Him, or to you

Honor

Integrity

Faithfulness

Truth

These are as important as Love

For without them

Love is just a feeling

subject to change

without them, words are meaningless

promises are empty

trust is vain

You once called me

The Perfect Knight

and so I am: a knight

though not so perfect

The difference between 

a knight and a warrior

is service and sacrifice

The warrior serves himself

takes what he wants

by force

The knight serves another

a higher purpose

an unbreakable code

a King

The knight sacrifices

his own will and desires

for the good of others

for the sake of justice

for the sake of mercy

for the sake of truth

to do what is right--

not what is expedient

The true knight would rather lose everything

give up what he loves and desires most

than intentionally and knowingly do wrong

injuring another--especially a lady

for his own pleasure and gain

And even knights get lost, sometimes

wandering the wilderness

in grief and madness

until the holy man...or holy woman

the messenger of God

comes to them and heals them

and helps them find their way

 

 

Feels good to be back home again. 

"The right way to wholeness is made up, unfortunately, of fateful detours and wrong turnings."

 -- Carl Jung

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