Thursday, May 29, 2014

St. John of the Cross on the Dark Night of the Soul

"When this Divine contemplation assails the soul with a certain force, in order to strengthen and subdue it, it suffers such pain in its weakness that it nearly swoons away...for sense and spirit, as if beneath some imnense and dark load, are in such great pain and agony that the soul would find advantage and relief in death."

Saturday, May 24, 2014

40





40 I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.
He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.
And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.
Blessed is that man that maketh the Lord his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.
Many, O Lord my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.
Sacrifice and offering thou didst not desire; mine ears hast thou opened: burnt offering and sin offering hast thou not required.
Then said I, Lo, I come: in the volume of the book it is written of me,
I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart.
I have preached righteousness in the great congregation: lo, I have not refrained my lips, O Lord, thou knowest.
10 I have not hid thy righteousness within my heart; I have declared thy faithfulness and thy salvation: I have not concealed thy lovingkindness and thy truth from the great congregation.
11 Withhold not thou thy tender mercies from me, O Lord: let thy lovingkindness and thy truth continually preserve me.
12 For innumerable evils have compassed me about: mine iniquities have taken hold upon me, so that I am not able to look up; they are more than the hairs of mine head: therefore my heart faileth me.
13 Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me: O Lord, make haste to help me.
14 Let them be ashamed and confounded together that seek after my soul to destroy it; let them be driven backward and put to shame that wish me evil.
15 Let them be desolate for a reward of their shame that say unto me, Aha, aha.
16 Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: let such as love thy salvation say continually, The Lord be magnified.
17 But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Psalm 107

"O that men would therefore praise the Lord for his goodness, and declare the wonders that he doeth for the children of men. For he satisfieth the empty soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness. Such as sit in darkness, and in the shadow of death, being fast bound in misery and iron, because they rebelled against the words of the Lord, and lightly regarded the counsel of the Most Highest. He also brought down their heart through heaviness: they fell down, and there was none to help them. So when they cried unto the Lord in their trouble, he delivered them out of their distress. For he brought them out of darkness, and out of the shadow of death, and brake their bonds in sunder."

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

A Note on my Poetry

The poems I post here shouldn't necessarily be taken to reflect the current state of my heart. I wrote them at different times and in various conditions: some are recent, some are from years ago.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Craving Grace like Chocolate


I don't just plug for the books of everyone I know who's an author. But I believe enough in Ruthie Delk's (whom you can see below, in my post "Orlando") book, Craving Grace, to recommend it to anyone who needs a refreshing new look at the Gospel, or a reminder of the joy of their new faith which has faded with time. It's written and marketed for women, and is apparently very popular and effective with them, as Ruthie now spends most of her time giving lectures and seminars to women's groups around the country and overseas. But I found it very beneficial and encouraging as well and I, as you may have noticed, am not a woman.


It is now in its second edition. The original title was Craving Grace like Chocolate, which Ruthie and I agree was much better (especially for a book targeted to women), but Moody Press didn't think so.

For my First Love

I never touched you
But you touched me
Our eyes met with a look that I still feel
across all the years and miles
And that has walked with me
on all the lonely paths of my life

I never touched you
But you sent me Oscar de la Renta-scented letters
I can still smell them when I close my eyes:
lilac-blue three-by-five cards with ruled lines
but nothing written...just the scent of your love

I couldn't touch you
We were so young. Romeo and Juliet young
But there was more between us than just three little years
I was a boy in a man's mantle
My world was combat loads and early morning alerts
and Russians
So many Russians
Millions of them, waiting to kill me for Lenin, Marx, and Motherland
And my world was hard machines
and hard men
and hard drink
I couldn't even vote yet; but I had another contribution to make
One that would take about eighteen seconds
once the balloon went up
according to the bean counters

And so I couldn't hold you
You were too good for me
too beautiful
too sweet
too innocent
to right

I turned away
and turned you away
and I have felt the pain of it every single day of my life
from that day to this

For on this day I've found you again
and my hardened husk of a heart has finally been healed

I still cannot touch you
still cannot hold you
The sacred bonds cannot be broken
To try would be a black and heinous sin
not only against the only One I love more than you,
but against the very love I bear you
It would change my love: pervert it
twist it into something unrecognizable;
ugly and abortive

And so it is enough just to know you again
Your words are life and nourishment to my heart
Although the notes we send now cannot bear the scent of perfume

Do you know that I still love you?
Does it matter?

Perhaps I'll buy some three-by-five cards
and a bottle of Oscar de la Rente

-- M.S. du Pré

Friday, May 16, 2014

André Rieu - And The Waltz Goes On (composed by Anthony Hopkins)



Who knew he was a composer too? And not a bad one at that. There's something magical about a waltz, isn't there? So heartwarming to see good art going on out there amidst the interminable dross.

Saturday, May 3, 2014

For an Unnamed Lady

I love you in your mystery
For all you are, and all you might be

Lasting love, it is said,
Can only come of Knowledge
and I cannot deny that it is so
But what lover knows his Beloved perfectly?
Woman is mystery
the incarnation of Holy Mystery
which must be loved in its obscurity
Wrapped in darkness, only revealing glimpses of itself
to longing and adoring eyes

Must a man taste every vintage
to know that wine is good?
Or cannot he accept that he will,
on occasion,
taste vinegar and gall,
and still love wine for all its variety,
and even love the mystery itself;
never knowing what surprises each new glass will bring?

Or how long must a man walk in Faerie
to know that he prefers it
to every place he's ever been,
or shall be?
Must he seek out all its dark corners,
uncover all its secrets
fight all its monsters
before he can say he loves it?

For in Faerie is darkness
as well as light
Elven song and the stench of trolls
Modest maids and devouring dragons
But can he not, having seen that this is so,
declare that here he will make his home--
taking the evil with the good,
the hideous with the fair?
And had he not rather die in the realm of light and shadows,
than live a thousand years in the grey land of men?

Thus I love you.
I know that you have faults;
some I see, some are undiscovered
But to me, they are not faults: they are imperfect perfections
I love your good, I love your bad
because I am bad, and good;
Your virtue and your vice,
Your beauty and your blemishes,
your sanctity and your sin

I do not know you yet--not all of you
it is true
But I know that all I wish to know is you

-- M.S. du Pré