The Magnificat - John Michael Talbot

In honor of Advent

International Thanksgiving

Yesterday I spent a lovely evening hosting four international students from UVa for their first American Thanksgiving: I made them the traditional feast I've been cooking for my family every Thanksgiving for the past almost 30 years now. Thanks to my dear friend Sister Lynda from church, who came up to help me. We lucked out, getting four bright, pleasant, and interesting guests and hopefully four new friends.

From left to right: Kendrick, from Indonesia; Sema, from Turkey; Tianwei, from China; me; Sr. Lynda; and Josh, also from Indonesia.

I'm going to miss this place when it's sold!

"God doesn't expect you to be perfect. He expects you to be sincere and wholehearted."

-- Derek Prince

"More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of."

-- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

"I consider rejection to be the deepest wound of the human spirit." -- Derek Prince


"Not being loved is the worst sickness." -- Mother Theresa

Brittany

I wouldn't tell this story if it had ended like I wanted it to.

Yesterday I was driving home, and saw a woman standing in the median holding a sign. The Spirit of God prompted my heart to help her. I give to beggars and panhandlers often, but not always, and my heart has been growing a bit cold lately because of all I've been dealing with, so I resisted. But He became more insistent. So I said, "If I have to stop at the light up there where she is, I'll give her some money."

The light changed, and I stopped, so I held out my hand with a bill in it. She approached the car, and I saw that her sign said "Need money for a train ticket". I asked her what she needed, and she started to tell me, but we ran out of time, so I told her to meet me at the gas station across the street. I pulled in, parked, asked her if she had eaten, and she said "Not in two days," so we went into Burger King, I bought her a meal, and we sat down and talked.

Brittany's husband met a girl on the internet. He invited to move in with him and when she arrived, they both attacked and beat Brittany and physically threw her out of the house. She'd been living on the street and in the woods for several days, and had hooked up with another homeless girl who had a car, so they'd been sleeping in it (a girl, by the way, whose boyfriend had poured gas on her and set her on fire. I saw the scars). Brittany loves Jesus, and she began to cry as she told me about how she had tried hard to be a loving, supportive, and godly wife to her unbelieving husband, and how she still knew that God was not going to leave her abandoned out here, and as she spoke I understood why He'd been so insistent that I stop and help her: she was one of His children, and she'd cried out to Him for help. So he sent me.

The poor girl was understandably fearful, but I convinced her to go to Walmart with me so I could get her a phone card, so she could receive her train ticket information when I bought it online, and we also got her some food for the night, clean socks and underwear, a jacket, and some personal items. She broke down at the checkout, put her arms around me and just sobbed, and I thought "this is what life is about. Thank you, Lord."

I offered, of course to give her (and her friend) a place to stay and shower for the night, but of course it's not easy to trust some guy you just met, especially after what they'd been through, so they declined, as I'd expected them to. But I had a bad feeling about her being out there, and about her making her train which left early in the morning. But they said they were going to go to the Haven (a shelter) and then to the station the next morning, so that was all I could do. But I couldn't get it out of my mind, so I went back down to where I'd left them with a blanket, because it got cold last night, but they were already gone, so I just went home and prayed for her.

But this morning I started getting phone calls from her husband--from her phone. I don't know how this happened, whether she went with him willingly, what her current condition is, or how to find or contact her, since he's got her phone. But it didn't sound good. I don't have enough to contact the police with, nor even know which agency to contact, since I don't know where they live.

No doubt some of you are assuming I got scammed. But remember, I was a cop, have worked in prison, and have quite a bit of experience ministering to the homeless. I'm pretty good at knowing when I'm being scammed (but sometimes choose to give anyway). This girl's pathos was real, And anyway, it's only money, and I've got more of it than I really need.

So why am I telling you this? I don't normally publicly announce the things I do in service to God and to help others. But I'm telling you so I can ask you to pray for her. Please. And also to get it off my chest. As you may have noticed, I find it very therapeutic to write about the painful things in my life, so that you can read them. I don't know why. Maybe God just made me a writer. Anyway, I'm eaten up with concern and worry for that poor, sweet girl, and also having a bit of a struggle: I was so sure God sent me to help her, and it seems to have ended badly. Did the devil get in? Did I not pray enough? Should I have tried harder to see her safely to somewhere for the night? I wish I'd said, when she hugged my goodbye, the simple words, "I love you, and you are beautiful and precious." But I didn't, and now she may be back in a horrible situation against her will, and her very life may be in danger. So mostly, I'm telling you so that you can pray for her.

Thanks.

"Whosoever is not ready to suffer all things and to stand resigned to the will of his Beloved, is not worthy to be called a lover. He that loveth must willingly embrace all that is hard and bitter, for the sake of his Beloved, and never suffer himself to be turned away by any contrary occurences whatsoever."

-- Thomas a Kempis, The Imitation of Christ

Hear my prayer, O God, and hide not thyself from my petition.
Take heed unto me, and hear me, how I mourn in my prayer, and am vexed.
The enemy crieth so, and the ungodly cometh on so fast; for they are minded to do me some mischief, so maliciously are they set against me.
My heart is disquieted within me, and the fear of death is fallen upon me.
Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and an horrible dread hath overwhelmed me.
And I said, "O that I had wings like a dove! for then would I flee away, and be at rest."
Lo, then would I get me away far off, and remain in the wilderness.
I would make haste to escape, because of the stormy wind and tempest.

For it is not an open enemy that hath done me this dishonour; for then I could have borne it;
Neither was it mine adversary that did magnify himself against me; for then peradventure I would have hid myself from him;
But it was even thou, my companion, my guide, and mine own familiar friend.
We took sweet counsel together, and walked in the house of God as friends.

-- Psalm 55:1-8, 12-15


They daily mistake my words; all that they imagine is to do me evil.
They hold all together, and keep themselves close, and mark my steps, when they lay in wait for my soul.

-- Psalm 56:5-6

"Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning."

-- Joel 2:12

The True Interior Life of the Saints

"Ah, Lord God, thou holy lover of my soul, when thou comest into my heart, all that is within me shall rejoice. Thou art my glory and the exultation of my heart: thou art my hope and refuge in the day of my trouble.

But because I am as yet weak in love, and imperfect in virtue, I have need to be strengthened and comforted by thee; visit me therefore often, and instruct me with all holy discipline. Set me free from evil passions, and heal my heart of all inordinate affections; that being inwardly cured and thoroughly cleansed, I may be made fit to love, courageous to suffer, steady to persevere.

Love is a great thing, yea, a great and thorough good; by itself it makes every thing that is heavy, light; and it bears evenly all that is uneven. For it carries a burden which is no burden, and makes every thing that is bitter, sweet and tasteful. The noble love of Jesus impels one to do great things,and stirs one up to be always longing for what is more perfect. Love desires to be aloft, and will not be kept back by any thing low and mean. Love desires to be free, and estranged from all worldly affections, that so its inward sight may not be hindered; that it may not be entangled by any temporal prosperity, or by any adversity subdued. Nothing is sweeter than love, nothing more courageous, nothing higher, nothing wider, nothing more pleasant, nothing fuller nor better in heaven and earth; because love is born of God, and cannot rest but in God, above all created things.

He that loveth, flyeth, runneth, and rejoiceth; he is free, and cannot be held in. He giveth all for all, and hath all in all; because he resteth in One highest above all things, from whom all that is good flows and proceeds. He respecteth not the gifts, but turneth himself above all goods unto the Giver. Love often times knoweth no measure, but is fervent beyond all measure. Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility; for it thinks all things lawful for itself and all things possible. It is therefore able to undertake all things, and it completes many things, and warrants them to take effect, where he who does not love, would faint and lie down.

Love is watchful, and sleeping slumbereth not. Though weary, it is not tired; though pressed, it is not straitened; though alarmed, it is not confounded; but as a lively flame and burning torch, it forces its way upwards, and securely passes through all. If any one love, he knoweth what is the cry of this voice. For it is a loud cry in the ears of God, the pure ardent affection of the soul, when it saith, 'My God, my love, thou art all mine, and I am all thine.'

Enlarge thou me in love, that with the inward palate of my heart I may taste how sweet it is to love, and to be dissolved, and as it were to bathe myself in thy love. Let me be possessed by love, mounting above myself, through excessive fervor and admiration. Let me sing the song of love, let me follow thee, my Beloved, on high; let my soul spend itself in thy praise, rejoicing through love. Let me love thee more than myself, nor love myself but for thee: and in thee all that truly love thee, as the law of love commandeth, shining out from thyself.

Love is active, sincere, affectionate, pleasant and amiable; courageous, patient, faithful, prudent, longsuffering, resolute, and never seeking itself. For in whatever instance one seeketh oneself, there he falleth from love. Love is circumspect, humble, and upright: not yielding to softness, or to levity, nor attending to vain things; it is sober, chaste, steady, quiet, and guarded in all the senses. Love is subject, and obedient to its superiors, to itself mean and despised, unto God devout and thankful, trusting and hoping always in Him, even then when God imparteth no relish of sweetness unto it: for without sorrow, none liveth in love.

-- Thomas à Kempis, The Imitation of Christ

"This is truly the life of the saints. We are called to it, for we are all called to the life of heaven where there will be only saints. In order to attain it, we must sanctify all the acts of our day, remembering that above the succession of daily deeds, whether pleasurable or painful, foreseen or unforeseen, there is the parallel series of actual graces which are granted to us from moment to moment that we may draw the best spiritual profit from these daily deeds. If we think about this, we shall no longer see these acts only from the point of view of the senses, or from that of our reason which is more or less led astray by self-love, but from the supernatural point of view of faith. Then these daily deeds, whether pleasurable or painful, will become the practical application of the doctrine of the Gospel, and gradually an almost continual conversation will be established between Christ and us. This will be the true interior life, as it were, eternal life begun."

-- Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange, O.P., The Three Ages of the Interior Life (in reference to the above)

“It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy;—it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.”

― Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

M60 Patton Main Battle Tank

Here's a cool thing. I especially like the shots from the loader's position; loading was the job I enjoyed most: it's the most active inside the tank, and also you're the one who's usually going to jump out and to things like LPOP and perimeter patrol. And on the M1, you've got your own .30 cal machine gun to fire when you're not loading the main gun. The really fun thing about it is when that breech block comes back when the main gun is fired, anything of yours that you might have in its way is coming off.

Gotta say, though, this Marine crew is kinda lame: they're averaging 9 seconds between shots on the main gun. A good Army crew can get off a shot every 4-6 seconds. One of their mistakes is that the loader is using his hand to knock that spent casing to the floor (this is to stop it bouncing around). We let it hit the back guard and take one bounce, and then stomped it with our foot as we loaded the next round into the breech. Saves a few seconds. Also, the announcer guy is wrong at the beginning: he says ".50 caliber machine-gun fire" but if you listen, you can hear two different types of machine-gun: the commander's .50 cal and the coaxial (mounted alongside the main gun) .30 cal, controlled by the gunner.

"Then first I knew the delight of being lowly; of saying to myself, 'I am what I am, nothing more.' 'I have failed,' I said, 'I have lost myself--would it had been my shadow.' I looked round: the shadow was nowhere to be seen. Ere long, I learned that it was not myself, but only my shadow, that I had lost. I learned that it is better, a thousand-fold, for a proud man to fall and be humbled, than to hold up his head in pride and fancied innocence. I learned that he that will be a hero, will barely be a man; that he that will be nothing but a doer of his work, is sure of his manhood...

"...Another self seemed to arise, like a white spirit from a dead man, from the dumb and trampled self of the past. Doubtless, this self must again die and be buried, and again, from its tomb, spring a winged child...Self will come to life even in the slaying of self; but there is ever something deeper and stronger than it, which will emerge last from the unknown abyss of the soul."

-- George MacDonald, Phantastes

"He is truly great, who is great in love."

-- Thomas a Kempis

Callin Me Home - Barry McGuire

But what is left for the cold gray soul,

That moans like a wounded dove?

One wine is left in the broken bowl!--

'Tis--To love, and love, and love.

-- George MacDonald 

The great sun, benighted,

May faint from the sky;

But love, once uplighted,

Will never more die.

-- George MacDonald 

Alas, how easily things go wrong!
A sigh too much, or a kiss too long,
And there follows a mist and a weeping rain,
And life is never the same again. 

      -- George MacDonald