I was having lunch today with a friend who is also going through a hard time, and we were talking about how, when you're seeking and trying to follow God with all your heart in such a place in your life, you have alternating moments of joyous hope and black despair. We tend, or at least I tend, to judge myself quite harshly over the dark times, berating myself for lack of faith and trust in Him. But one only need read the Psalms to see that it is just part of the process when the Lord is working in our lives. David had a multitude of those moments, even questioning God in some of them. Also, most if not all of the Psalms are prophetically the prayer book of Christ Himself, and we have the account of His passion in the Garden to show us that it is not only normal and human, but not sinful.
None of that, of course, makes one feel any better in the midst of the despair. And I'm having one of those times tonight. And nothing commiserates a confused and aching soul like opera.
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