This has just joined my list of all-time favorite scenes. Something I've often fantasized about getting the opportunity to do.

Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person - Alain de Botton

This is quite good. I don't agree with everything he says, particularly I think that it is possible to find the right one, with the proper Guidance.

You may wonder, given my seemingly romantic tendencies, that I like and (mostly) agree with this. But I'm not actually a "romantic" in the sense in which most moderns mean it. That is, I don't believe in "follow your feelings," or in wishy-washy emotionalism in making decisions about love (or in any area). I guess I'm what you might call a romantic realist: I believe that there is such a thing as True Love, but that we have to get there through a path of wisdom, discipline, sacrifice, knowledge of ourselves and the other, moral virtue, commitment, hard work, and all the other things that the pragmatists advocate. In other words, I believe that the pragmatists and the romantics are both right and wrong: that each only has half (or in some cases, less) of the picture.

To put it metaphorically, emotions are like flowing water. What we want in flowing water is for it to be a nice, clear, cool, sparkling, fresh stream; and for that, we need solid banks or a channel for the water to flow through. Without banks, a river becomes a swamp: this is the mistake of the pure romantic. But the mistake of the pure pragmatist is to build a dam, and try and stop the flow altogether; this, of course, is eventually going to result in disaster. Not only does the water in the resultant lake become muddy and stagnant, but eventually it will either overflow or burst the dam.

All this is especially true in the case of the most powerful emotion, love, and applies to making our choice of partner, as well as all the choices we make throughout the relationship. Just because we feel an emotional connection with someone, doesn't mean that's the person we should marry. But neither should we marry based solely on how the other person "looks on paper," and stifle and dismiss the emotional element altogether. We've got to use both our hearts and our heads. Similarly, divorcing because you "fell out of love" with someone is foolishness, but so is divorcing because your partner isn't living up to your ambitions and expectations.

I heard once, in a movie, the line; "There's always a moment, when you have a choice: 'Do I give in to this or not?'" And I wholeheartedly agree. I, obviously, believe in and am capable of immensely deep and profoundly passionate love. But it only comes after I have allowed myself to experience it, because I have become convinced that it is appropriate and right, or at least possible and permissible. So if, for example, I met a married woman with whom I shared a very real emotional and intellectual connection, and even a physical attraction, I would not consider that real love, and would never allow myself to fall in love with her (nor to act on the attraction in any way), because it would not be appropriate and possible. I might form a friendship with her, if it were feasible, and any other feelings I had, I would regard as just feelings, and they would fade over time.

This may sound like I am pontificating and don't know what I'm talking about--"it's easy to say these things, but have you tried living them?" Well  yes, I have. When I met again the woman for whom I'd carried a flame for 27 years and was convinced I should have married, I hoped I might have a second chance. But when I found out she was married, I put that to rest forever, and finally was able to move on.

Or, to put it all another way, I believe that genuine True Love is metaphysical love; the Love of God, given as a gift for us humans to share between us and in Him. And this can only be achieved within the context of His order.

Anyway, this is quite a good little talk about love from a psychological and philosophical viewpoint. I especially like when he talks about the courage of openness and vulnerability, and how real love is the choice to see the good in the beloved, even in their flaws. Reminiscent of 1 Cor 13: "Love suffers long and is kind. Love envies not, boasts not, is not proud; is not arrogant or rude. It does not dishonor, is not self-seeking; is not easily provoked, and thinks no evil. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Love believes all things, bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things." That, and the fact that he closes with Kierkegaard, might explain why he and I agree.

Vivaldi Gloria at La Pieta, Venice

This is pure beauty. And they seem to have (with one notable exception) selected the most beautiful women: women with true, pure, natural beauty. 

The Greatness of Bach and the Glory of the Lord

Enough has been said about Bach's genius, and I can add nothing to it. I am no musicologist, nor even an especially knowledgeable amateur. But I was thinking this morning about the universality and transcendence of it, and of the other great works of Christendom. There is good art in many cultures, that speaks to the heart and moves the soul. But there is that something in these works that touches the universal, the infinite, the transcendent, the sublime, that nothing else can match. It is this which gives the works of artists like Bach, Handel, Dante, Shakespeare, Raphael, Donatello, Donne, Hugo, and Tolstoy that aetherial power which moves the human spirit and not just the soul. It is Truth, and not just human truth, but Divine Truth.

Listening to this, the opening of St. John's Passion, is like gazing, with Dante and Beatrice, from the Crystalline Sphere into the High Empyrean. Listen to the music, look deep into this image by Gustav Dore (but don't just see a monochromatic image: bring the glorious pictures of the heavens you've seen from the Hubble telescope to mind, to bring it to life in your mind's eye), and recall the opening words of St. John's Gospel: 

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not."

Soli Deo gloria

"When someone in need tries to push you away, you have to find the strength to hold on tighter."

-- Unknown