Verdi - La Traviata - Parigi, O Cara

2 My son, if you come forward to serve the Lord,
    prepare yourself for temptation.
2 Set your heart right and be steadfast,
    and do not be hasty in time of calamity.
3 Cleave to him and do not depart,
    that you may be honored at the end of your life.
4 Accept whatever is brought upon you,
    and in changes that humble you be patient.
5 For gold is tested in the fire,
    and acceptable men in the furnace of humiliation.
6 Trust in him, and he will help you;
    make your ways straight, and hope in him.

7 You who fear the Lord, wait for his mercy;
    and turn not aside, lest you fall.
8 You who fear the Lord, trust in him,
    and your reward will not fail;
9 you who fear the Lord, hope for good things,
    for everlasting joy and mercy.
10 Consider the ancient generations and see:
    who ever trusted in the Lord and was put to shame?
Or who ever persevered in the fear of the Lord and was forsaken?
    Or who ever called upon him and was overlooked?
11 For the Lord is compassionate and merciful;
    he forgives sins and saves in time of affliction.

12 Woe to timid hearts and to slack hands,
    and to the sinner who walks along two ways!
13 Woe to the faint heart, for it has no trust!
    Therefore it will not be sheltered.
14 Woe to you who have lost your endurance!
    What will you do when the Lord punishes you?
15 Those who fear the Lord will not disobey his words,
    and those who love him will keep his ways.
16 Those who fear the Lord will seek his approval,
    and those who love him will be filled with the law.
17 Those who fear the Lord will prepare their hearts,
    and will humble themselves before him.
18 Let us fall into the hands of the Lord,
    but not into the hands of men;
for as his majesty is, so also is his mercy.

-- Wisdom of Sirach

Your delicate heart is beautiful above all things
I can see it behind its gates and walls
its guards and wards
its locks and chains
its curtains and veils

Lovelier than your lovely face
Prettier than your pretty smile
More luminous than your shining eyes
More melodious than your musical voice
More radiant than your incandescent presence

Your heart is the most exquisite of treasures
the most precious of rare things
It is beyond any man's desert
Beyond mine
And I dare not ask for it
Except to say that I alone
perceive its full worth
and could treasure it
cherish it
adore it
venerate it
guard it
serve it
love it
as it is entitled to be loved

"For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears; not that you should be grieved, but that ye might know the love which I have more abundantly to you." -- 2 Cor 2:4

I've been thinking that what I'm going to do is buy a small camper trailer, and spend the time between now and next spring traveling on this continent. I'll take my backpack and hiking gear with me, and keep my gym membership, which is good nationwide, so I can keep training a couple of times a week at least, and go hiking when I find somewhere interesting to explore. Then, next spring, come back, store my truck and either sell the camper or store it too, and head to Europe.

Maybe I'll find somewhere I'd like to live while I'm out. Europe would be my first preference, but harder to make happen.

Bishop Barron on J.R.R. Tolkien, Evangelist

"Hope is the mean between despair and presumption."

Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange, The Three Ages of the Interior Life 

88 O lord God of my salvation, I have cried day and night before thee:

2 Let my prayer come before thee: incline thine ear unto my cry;

3 For my soul is full of troubles: and my life draweth nigh unto the grave.

4 I am counted with them that go down into the pit: I am as a man that hath no strength:

5 Free among the dead, like the slain that lie in the grave, whom thou rememberest no more: and they are cut off from thy hand.

6 Thou hast laid me in the lowest pit, in darkness, in the deeps.

7 Thy wrath lieth hard upon me, and thou hast afflicted me with all thy waves. Selah.

8 Thou hast put away mine acquaintance far from me; thou hast made me an abomination unto them: I am shut up, and I cannot come forth.

9 Mine eye mourneth by reason of affliction: Lord, I have called daily upon thee, I have stretched out my hands unto thee.

10 Wilt thou shew wonders to the dead? shall the dead arise and praise thee? Selah.

11 Shall thy lovingkindness be declared in the grave? or thy faithfulness in destruction?

12 Shall thy wonders be known in the dark? and thy righteousness in the land of forgetfulness?

13 But unto thee have I cried, O Lord; and in the morning shall my prayer prevent thee.

14 Lord, why castest thou off my soul? why hidest thou thy face from me?

15 I am afflicted and ready to die from my youth up: while I suffer thy terrors I am distracted.

16 Thy fierce wrath goeth over me; thy terrors have cut me off.

17 They came round about me daily like water; they compassed me about together.

18 Lover and friend hast thou put far from me, and mine acquaintance into darkness.

Thanks To Thee

Just because in spite of everything, in the midst of everything, God is still Good.

Hard Times

I am weary, and very lonely,

    And can but think--think.

If there were some water only

    That a spirit might drink--drink!

        And arise,

        With light in the eyes

And a crown of hope on the brow,

    To walk abroad in the strength of gladness,

    Not sit in the house benumbed with sadness---

          As now!

But, Lord, thy child will be sad--

      As sad it pleases thee ;

  Will sit, not seeking to be glad,

      Till thou bid sadness flee ;

          And drawing near

          With a kind "good cheer,"

    Awake the life in me

-- George MacDonald, Violin Songs

You told me once

that your eyes were not as bright

as the colored ribbon

to which I'd compared them

I wonder if you think yourself

less admirable

less deserving of praise

than my many words have claimed

I cannot prove

before a panel of judges

that you are the most beautiful

the lovliest

the most adorable

But even if it were so
(though I do not grant it) 

that in the beauty of the eyes

others were as lovely as you

There would still be
That other, deeper beauty
The one, as it's said of the Blessed Virgin,
by which you outshine all around you

You are not the most beautiful

because your features are perfect

because your hair is lustrous

because your skin is flawless

because your eyes are bright

You are the most beautiful

because your beauty radiates from your luminous spirit
And shines through your exquisite soul

And that kind of beauty will last forever

Happy Birthday, Beautiful One

I said the other day that I didn't have a sense of close community yet at my new church. But I was surprised and touched this weekend by the warmth of the reception I received after my confirmation. I was congratulated by many people as if it were my birthday, or as if I'd just been married, and there were even gifts.

Ironically, the magazine in the bottom picture contains a piece by a former friend from my old church.

Mary and True Beauty

"Mary Magdalene was taller and more beautiful than the other holy women, including even the beautiful Dinah the Samaritan, but the Virgin Mary was the most beautiful of all. Although the beauty of her form was not unmatched by others, and in some respects Magdalene's beauty was even more striking, Mary stands out among them all, more especially through an indescribable silent blessing that emanated from her, and through her simplicity, meekness, youthfulness, earnestness, and purity."

-- Anne Catherine Emmerich

One of the visionaries at Medjurgorje asked Mary, "My Lady, why are you so beautiful?" The answer was "I am beautiful because I love."

Bach - St John Passion BWV 245 - Van Veldhoven | Netherlands Bach Society

For Good Friday. The first ten minutes of this are one of the most profound and beautiful things in Western civilization.

Anne Catherine Emmerich and Notre Dame

I'm reading Anne Catherine's visions, and came across this last night, just in the ordinary course of my reading:

"I had a vision of a church with a high, elaborate tower, in a great city on a mighty river. The patron of the church is St. Stephen, by whom I saw another saint who was martyred after him. Around the church I saw many very distinguished people, among them some strangers with aprons and trowels who appeared about to pull down the church with the beautiful tower and slate roof. People from all parts were gathered there, among them priests and even religious, and I was so distressed that I called to my Lord for assistance. Xavier with the cross in his hand had once been all powerful, the enemy ought not to be allowed to triumph now! Then I saw five men going into the church, three in heavy antique vestments like priests, and two very young ecclesiastics who seemed to be in Holy Orders. I thought these two received Holy Communion, and that they were destined to infuse new life into the Church.

Suddenly a flame burst from the tower, spread over the roof, and threatened to consume the whole church. I thought of the great river flowing by the city--could they not extinguish the flames with its waters? The fire injured many who aided in the destruction of the church and drove them away, but the edifice itself remained standing, by which I understood that the Church would be saved only after a great storm."

I was confused by the reference to St. Stephen (surely Our Lady is the patroness of Notre Dame, right?) until I researched it and found that, indeed, Notre Dame de Paris was originally consecrated to St. Stephen, and the door which faces the Université is still called the St. Stephen Portal.

There is clearly also a symbolic meaning to this vision, applying to the Catholic Church metaphorically. But that doesn't preclude the literal vision being true as well, just as the fact that the Exodus and entrance in to the Promised Land are symbolic of salvation in Christ, but also literally happened in history.

Incidentally, the Visions are fascinating. Perhaps the most fascinating thing I have ever read.

Bishop Barron on Notre Dame Rose Window

How serendipitously apropos. Not only because of external events, but because what he's saying ties in to what I've been saying about my catholic faith. Also, I never realized it until he spoke of the Beatific Vision in relation to this window, but it does, from a distance, resemble what I saw when I saw God: a Sphere of complex and living blue-white light.

My New Name

I have decided to take David as my confirmation name. In honor both of St. David of Wales, patron of poets, and King David, the greatest poet who has ever lived. It just feels perfect, as both are patrons of poetry (and writing, by extension): I'm hoping that I can invoke their aid in fulfilling my vocation of writing.  And because I'm Welsh on my mother's side. St David his been historically linked to Arthur (he did live in the time that, if there was a historical Arthur, would have been his), and was even supposed in later legend to be either his nephew or his uncle.

Also, I've always felt a very deep affinity with King David, and very often, in my own trials and suffering, I've found great comfort in reading about his, both in the narratives of his life and in his own words, in the Psalms. I love that he was both such a great and fearsome warrior, and also so deeply sensitive and passionate, so devoutly devoted to the Lord, and so articulate and creative. The original warrior-poet.

"The second stage of the spiritual life is the illuminative. This belongs to those whose efforts in holiness have achieved the first stage of liberation from obsessive attachments. It is characterized by spiritual intuition of existent realities, by contemplation of the inner constitutions of created things, and by the communion of the Holy Spirit

In the illuminative stage, the spiritual intellect is purified by divine fire; a psychic opening of the eyes of the heart occurs, and the Logos is born in us, who brings mystical discernments of the highest order.

The one who reaches this state by the intellect's mystical intuition rides like Elijah in a chariot of fire."

-- Niketas Stethatos