So Who am I?

I've said several times that what Carolina did for me was that she saw who I really am, and believed, which enabled me to believe. But who is that?

Some of the things that move me most deeply:

The relationship between Fantein and Valjean in Les Miserables.

La Traviata

Movies like these:
https://youtu.be/wIoumDCBcuY
https://youtu.be/uPJVJBm9TPA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF7-H7FLsLE

This. Especially this:
https://youtu.be/G3ykt6pyLJ4

So who am I, then? I am this guy:

"And the world will be better for this: that one man, scorned and covered with scars, still strove with his last ounce of courage."

Thank You

Thank you for your affection, your intimacy, your trust, your admiration, your devotion: all the things I've always needed but never had

Thank you for being the one who had the courage to taste and see if I am good, and for finding that I am. And for telling me so.

Thank you for calling me 'knight', 'hero', 'savior', 'gentleman', 'perfect lover', 'great man'. Everything a man could ever wish to be called by a woman.

Thank you for allowing me to help you, to heal you, to be good, kind, and gentle to you. To show you what kind of man I truly am. And most of all, to show you Jesus, and to bring you and Him closer to each other.

Thank you for bringing laughter, happiness, and silliness back into my life. I've laughed more in the last month than in the previous ten years.

Thank you for making me funny again. For making me fun again.

Thank you for showing me, at long last, what it feels like to be loved.

Thank you for teaching me to love myself.

Thank you for loving me.

Time To Say Good-Bye

Goodbye, sweet girl.

Under the willow, outside the Museum of Fine Art. A day of beauty and peace.

After church and brunch: fine weather, peace with God, laughter and love. A perfect Sunday.

After we picked up the rest of your luggage, you wanted to show me all your pretty things. Adorable

Sexy Librarian

Miss Meadows

Elegant

Fairy

Pretty Woman

"In the last resort faith is an act of the will, inspired by love." -- J.R.R Tolkien

Boston

I'm in Boston (for the first time in my life) with Carolina, and having a wonderful time. It just so happens that my dear friend Maggie has recently moved here, as her husband Nico has a new job at Harvard. I was planning to come by and see her when I hit the road with my camper, but this is even better. I wasn't relishing driving through this part of the country with a trailer. Carolina is flying out from here in a few days. I like Boston so far, surprisingly, as I generally don't like cities.

I closed on my house on Tuesday, so everything is done and that chapter of my life is closed. After I drop Carolina off in a couple of days, I'll head back to Virginia to stay with my brother and look for the camper, and then I'm off. 

"One has to accept sorrow for it to be of any healing power, and that is the most difficult thing in the world... A priest once said to me,"When you understand what accepted sorrow means, you will understand everything. It is the secret of life." -- Maurice Baring

Edit by Carolina:
Right, but also "When you understand what accepted JOY means, you will understand everything. It is the secret of life." -- A Silly Tiny girl completely in love for you

Goodbye, Little Kitty

"I will not say 'Do not weep' for not all tears are an evil." -- J.R.R. Tolkien

Today I said goodbye forever to my beloved Little Kitty; my best friend and only companion for the last 12 years. Goodbye, my dear little friend, and may God have the mercy of allowing us to meet again in a better place. I love you.

"Teach your mouth to say that which you have in your heart."

-- Abba Poemen

"Few other griefs amid the ill chances of this world have more bitterness and shame for a man’s heart than to behold the love of a lady so fair and brave that cannot be returned."

-- J.R.R. Tolkien

My guest made me a delightful treat: authentic homemade Italian food--melanzala parmigiana. And keto-friendly; no pasta. So delicious. Luckily, she made enough that we can have it again tomorrow evening. 

I said goodbye to Sharleen last week after a brief visit, as she was planning on spending the rest of her time here in Florida. But she felt progressively unsafe--men acting inappropriately and ungentlemanly--as she traveled south through Atlanta and down to Miami, and after a couple of days decided that she wanted to come back to me. The fact that I am the one she thought of, that this is where she feels like she can go to feel safe, makes me feel very, very good about myself. It means that she sees who I really am. Also, I am happy to get to spend a few more days with her before she goes home to Italy. I wasn't expecting any more guests before I move out (my house is already half-empty), but this is a nice way to end my time here.

Peace

With three things I am delighted,

for they are pleasing to the Lord and to men:

Unity among brethren, friendship among neighbors,

and a wife and a husband living together in harmony.

-- Wisdom of Sirach 25:1

Summer Song

"Murmuring 'twixt a murmer and moan,
Many a tune in a single tone--
For every ear with a secret true--
The sea-shell wants to whisper to you."

"Yes--I hear it--far and faint,
Like thin-drawn prayer of drowsy saint;
Like the muffled sounds of a summer rain;
Like the rustle of dreams to a weary brain."

"By smiling lip and fixed eye,
You are hearing a song within the sigh:
The murmurer has curious ways--
Tell me, darling, the words it says."

"I hear a wind on a boatless main
Sigh like the last of a vanishing pain;
On the dreaming waters dreams the moon
But I hear no words in the doubtful tune."

"If it tell thee not that I love thee well,
'Tis a senseless, wrinkled, ill-curved shell:
If it be not of love, why sigh or sing?
'Tis a common, mechanical, stupid thing."

"It whispers, it whispers, with prophet voice,
Of a peace that comes, of a granted choice;
It speaks not a word of your love to me,
But it tells me I love you eternally."

-- George MacDonald, Violin Songs and Other Poems