What Else I'm Carrying

The burden of my past: regret, sin, pain, disappointment, failure, abuse, despair, bitterness, anger, rejection, heartbreak. 

Not that I'm going to be miraculously perfect after I finish my journey: it's more that the whole thing is about letting go and leaving the past in the past, like Forrest Gump. Why the Ring? Well, I needed a symbol, and it occurred to me that, a) The Ring is the perfect symbol for the things in my own heart I'm letting go. I won't elaborate, because I'm leaving these things behind, not publishing them to give them new life. But also, it's that I discovered this book at around the same time that most of these things began to get hold of me, that is, in my late childhood/early adolescence. And the book itself has ever been a comfort and a refuge, like Rivendell, that I could turn to to escape the pain and despair of my circumstances, and a guide to light my way through the darkness, like the phial of Galadriel.

So, assuming that I succeed in my quest; that is, reaching the Cracks of Doom or, in my case, the Cliffs of Forillon, I'm going to cast the Ring into the abyss and turn away from the Darkness. And though I'll carry my scars forever, and sometimes they'll still pain and trouble me, I will live the rest of my life in hope and peace as best I can, in the Shire, waiting for that grey ship to carry me into the West.