Opposites

Have you ever been believed by those around you to be exactly the opposite of what you are? Have the virtues and character that are most important to you and who you are ever been turned around and left you portrayed as something loathsome, vile, and repugnant? Has the person of whom you think most highly in the world thought so little of you that they want nothing more in life than for you to just go away? Have the people who you thought loved and respected you turned out to despise and scorn you?

exempli gratia:

Imagine you're a girl who, her whole life, has valued and cherished her virginity. You are modest, chaste, and virtuous while the world around you revels in hedonism, and it's not easy because you're human too. But you believe it so strongly and practice it so diligently, that it becomes a major part of who you are. It makes you an oddball. And you're starting to get a little bit on in years, but still, you stick to your convictions.

Finally, you meet someone special and fall completely in love with him. He's also your friend and, so you believe, likes and respects you. But then you find out that, for some reason totally unknown to you, he has come to believe that you are a complete skank. And so do the other people in your circle who you thought were your friends. There is absolutely no truth to it, and you have no idea where the false ideas even came from, nor any opportunity to defend yourself, as neither he nor anyone else concerned will even talk to you. To say that you are crushed, or that your heart is broken, is ludicrous understatement. Your heart is like a World Trade Center victim: literally pulverized--nothing left but dust and goo.

That's what it's like to be a man to whom nothing but his faith in Christ has been more important than being chivalrous, gentle, and protective to women--but has been made out to be the very thing he most abhors.

So, what do you do next? Well, you go somewhere else, try to heal, try to start over. Try to understand what you could possibly have done to contribute, and to change. Learn from it, and become a better person.

But what if it happens to you a second time? But it's even worse: it's people you've known longer, and someone you love more? I don't have the answer to that one, but it seems to be just find a hole somewhere to hide in, and wait to die alone. And pray that it won't be too long.