The Truth

I've been thinking a lot about honesty.

I'm wondering how much of this mess is because I'm too direct. And how much is because people don't know how to take me. And what I should do about it. I'm seriously considering taking up lying.

All my adult life, I've maintained an unwavering commitment to total honesty. Including to women--even women in whom I'm romantically interested. I am aware, of course, of "the game"; have watched people play it, and even done some reading on it. But I've always thought that women--especially women in whom I'm romanticallly interested--deserved the respect of my honesty. That I should do them the courtesy of giving them the absolute truth and allowing them to use their minds and free will to make their own decisions. And that meant not only literal, factual honesty, but emotional honesty: in other words, being open and transparent.

But I always seem to end with a failure to communicate.

Is it too much? Too intense? Is my being so open about my feelings damaging to theirs? I'm wondering if I need to learn to prevaricate in order to be considerate. After all, I'd fudge the truth to spare someone's feelings about how they looked or whether I liked their food, right?

I'm looking at ways to change. But also, allow me to give you a short block of instruction on how to communicate with Mike:

I say exactly what I mean and mean exactly what I say, and nothing more.

Always take everything I say literally, at face value. Don't look for hidden meanings or veiled intentions, because they're not there.

Don't try to figure out my "angle" or agenda. I don't have one. What I'm telling you is the plain truth in as clear terms as I can express it. I am making no attempt to manipulate you or control the outcome.

Don't tell me what you think I need to hear. Tell me the truth. I can handle it.

Don't try to give me hints or signals. I won't get them.

And if we seem not to be communicating, or if I seem to be acting an ass, take the time to try and explain it to me. Chances are I'm just not getting it.

If any of you, my friends, have input on this, I'd be happy to hear it.