My doctor tried putting me on a new med for chronic pain. I guess the new thing is to use certain antidepressants for pain management, because the increase in norepinephrine and seratonin supposedly reduce the perceived level of pain. Anyway, I agreed to try it, even though I've refused to take any antidepressants for several years now, as they were a big part of what got me to the awful place I was in a few years ago. But as she described it, it sounded like it might be worth a shot.
What I got, however, was no noticeable change in pain, but a weird fog that both makes me tired and keeps me from sleeping. And a great sense of hopelessness and despair, along with bad dreams, confusion, and serious suicidal ideation, I mean, really, perilously serious. Last night was a bad night for the books.
It didn't occur to me until today that the medication was the cause of it--after all, it's not like I'm living a happy and joyful life here. So I took it again today, before I put it all together and did the research. Hopefully, the knowledge that it's drug-induced will get me through tonight, and the next couple of days until it gets out of my system. Kinda wish I had a friend nearby, though.
Oh well, whatever.
1 comment:
hang in there
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