Strange, how I was just writing here a day or two ago about my regrets as a father. And then, this morning, I get a message from my son that says "I need you to teach me how to be as good a dad as you were, because I feel like I suck at it." Which gives me the opportunity both to try and apologize for my failings, and to help him avoid making the same ones.
I won't relate the whole conversation, but here's the thing I told him which has really been on my heart for a while now: "If I could change one thing, I would have been kinder. To you in particular. You were such a great kid, but you reminded me so much of myself that I had a hard time expressing my love, because I hated myself."
Of course, the fact that he cares so much that he's plagued with guilt over not being a good enough father just proves that he actually is a good one. So I guess, in spite of my mistakes, I managed to raise a good man: not only strong and courageous on the battlefield, but tender and loving to his family. That makes me happy, and a little bit proud.
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