My back hurts all the time. Sometimes, it's only a low-grade discomfort. On the best days, it's just barely noticeable so that, for moments, I can almost forget it.

It's always been like that with my emotions, too (though it's getting better now). I spent so long, from my early childhood, never having happiness or peace that it's like I physiologically forgot how; like the neurotransmitters weren't working, or just weren't there anymore.

When I listen to Jacqueline play, though, it actually physically makes me feel better. I get that warm, glowing tingle up and down my spine that washes away the pain like warm water washes away the dirt and sweat. It feels like a mild dose of opiates.

The other thing that does that to me is Your presence. When I'm with you, it takes away my pain. Your voice soothes my body and my soul. Your eyes lighten my spirit, and your smile gives joy to my heart. Your music transports me to better places. Even when we're not talking or interacting, I can close my eyes and, just knowing you're near, sink into that warm pool of happiness and be at peace. You are like morphine.